05 February 2007

it's been a long day

My day started at 6:00 - or do I count 3:30 when I got up to give Roman his soother.... Anyway, 6:00 when Roman woke up. Because he has been sick and teething on and off we have gotten into the habit of bringing him into bed with us when he wakes up between 6 and 7. So he is in bed with us at 6:00 and the alarm is set for 6:30, always annoying when that happens. I gave up and just got in the shower. Then I had to get myself ready and all Roman's stuff and then Roman when I woke him and Brad up at 7:30. Took Roman to my parent's house and headed off to work. Yep, to work. Today was my first day back to work after my maternity leave. If you can call it work - hospital orientation. Boring, but I was getting paid to sit there and be bored! But the start of work nonetheless. I go again tomorrow. I am working casual and will try to work a shift or two a week.
Roman did great. In fact, my mom said he really didn't even notice I wasn't there. A good thing I guess, the better he does the easier it will be to go to work. I must admit I was a little sad that he didn't seem to miss me. I missed him. I guess it will get easier as time goes on. I miss my old job and I am a little nervous to start at a whole new hospital after not working for a year, but at the same time I am really excited to be back. I liked the adult conversation and talk of stuff other than babies. I liked having to be somewhere at a certain time and to have things structured when I was there. I liked feeling that I had a purpose and I was going to accomplish something definite and measurable before the shift was done. It's not that I don't enjoy motherhood and it isn't purposeful, it's just a different feeling. Hard to explain.
I guess Oprah had a show awhile ago on stay at home moms vs. working moms. Wish I could have seen it, I'm sure it was interesting to hear from both sides. Different things for different people I guess. For me I like to have something that is my own, separate from my work as a wife and mother. It is a good outlet, a good way to be challenged and to learn. I feel that working a little bit is good for me and will therefore be good for my family. If I am burnt out at home work will be good and if I am burnt out at work home will be good. I am sure I'll change my views as Roman grows and I have more kids. And after working for awhile and having some bad shifts I will probably want to stop working! But for today I am glad to be a working mom.


carol said...

It's nice to have the best of both worlds! Or a little of each. I am glad I could work at home. I don't like leaving -but a few days a week will be nice-only problem is the Ro man is going to be spoiled stinky!

LindsayB said...

It's so funny, when I leave for work and Derek stays with Alli, I name off all sorts of things to do and what not. He's like ummm, I know what do with our child. I'm sure we miss them much more then they ever miss us dang it!

susie said...

ahhh you 2 look so cute... and even if he doesn't miss you, you can tell he loves you. thats a fun pic of you guys

katie said...

That is the cutest picture ever! There's no doubting how much Ro loves his mom! Good luck with the new job. You'll do great.

Allison Davis said...

I know exactly how you feel. When Owen was first born I thought I could never leave him, but now I think leaving for small amounts of time is good for everyone, everyone needs a break. When Owen was probably 5 months old I noticed that he would totally have days where he was sick of me, you don't imagine that your kid would need a break from you, but I think that is what he wanted. With work for me, it seems like I am never happy, When I am busy with weddings and stuff I think that all I want is to stay with my baby, and when I have no buisness, I create all these projects for myself, because I need a creative outlet. I guess it is just the nature of life.

I am still a little stressed about what I'll do on the day when I have to leave him overnight!

How cool is it that your maternity leave was so long!